Sandals Parody Commercial

Sandals Parody Commercial

[BUTLER] Welcome to Sandals Resorts where you can fulfill your fantasies about the colonial past I’m Vera and I could be your servant *COUGH* I meant Butler! At Sandals Resort, we try our very best to let our Butlers of color succumb to the traditional power dynamics set into place by the race and social class hierarchies, so we can serve you, our predominantly white guests. [MR. WHITEMAN] Hi, I’m Richard Whiteman But you can call me Rich. And this is my wife Sharon. We’re here to experience the most exquisite and authentic Jamaican culture we can find! I’m certain that the experience I get at this resort is very close with the local experience, and I’m happy to contribute to the local economy by coming here. I bought an all-inclusive tour from Thomas Cook Travels, so I’m certain that most of the money I gave them will be coming back into this community. You guys should also thank me for bringing my business *AHEM* privilege here, because it gives you job opportunities. Maybe one day, you can own your own resort! [LOCAL] On behalf of a local community, we’re so grateful for that! Never have I ever thought of being able to buy the stuff WE produce through a foreign owned business at a quadrupled price. It’s like a dream come true! [MRS. WHITEMAN] Recently, I did an DNA test, and they told me I’m like 0.15 percent Caribbean descent, and I’ve come here to explore my heritage! I’m excited to buy local souvenirs and wear the local clothes when I go home. [MR. WHITEMAN] Wow, this Resort is exquisite! It’s so luxurious. Everyone here seems so happy and so content. The people of Jamaica are so happy and prosperous… Clearly everyone in this resort seems happy, it must mean the entire country is exactly the same, too! [BUTLER] Yes, Mr. Whiteman, you’re absolutely correct! Everyone in the resort is indeed very happy enjoying the small wages we get, while the rest of the big Sandals’ executives enjoy a lot of profit and get billions of dollars. And we love wearing these clothes that we aren’t used to wearing, and constantly having to listen to these implicit racist remarks made by our predominantly white guests. Thank you so much for coming! [MR. WHITEMAN] We’re also so excited to be increasing our carbon footprint. Bigger is better! [LOCAL] Yes, Mr. Whiteman, your visit has been absolutely wonderful to us and to our environment, and has totally not ruined the pristine nature of our environment at all! All the plastic that the hotel’s thrown out end up in our waterways and so does the food that they waste. But don’t worry, you’re on your vacation… [MRS. WHITEMAN] We didn’t even choose to come to this place… I don’t even know much about this place, but my husband’s company sent him here some conference last year (I don’t really know) and so he thought it would be a really good idea to get his whole family, so I’m here. *shrugs* [BUTLER] At Sandals Resorts, we try our very best to serve you with different types of performances to affirm your tourist gaze. For example, we have an authentic Jamaican dance, which is totally not shortened because of your short attention span. I REALLY enjoyed the performance that were put on for me, and I think they were so captivating. I think the performers were indigenous people from this region, and their costumes were so authentic. I’m certain that the performers really enjoyed their opportunity to display their culture! [LOCAL] Even though most of the money you spent on this vacation went to Thomas Cook, I’m sure my community will still thrive on the little money that’s actually left for Jamaica. Thank you for visiting Jamaica!!! [MRS. WHITEMAN] Aw we’re so happy to help! I’m so proud to be a part of this neo-colonialist power structure that lets me spend my money and use my privilege in this country. [MR. WHITEMAN] My company Global Capitalism Incorporated works with the World Bank to stifle the economies of countries who don’t subscribe to the policies of the transnational capitalist class! [MR. & MRS. WHITEMAN] IMPERIALISM! Don’t forget to get your authentic Jamaican shot glasses and Jamaican patterned clothes to show off to your friends back home. It might say “Made in China”, but trust us, it’s authentic. YOU..!!

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