“TED CRUZ” — A Bad Lip Reading

“TED CRUZ” — A Bad Lip Reading

**You can turn these captions off and on using the CC button. I’d like to stick garden gnomes in this building Yeah, I guess you would Hi, death will find you soon I’m not sure you’ll be remembered You’re the devil That little boy has like a thousand freckles And everybody’s all “ewwwww” Like there’s goobers on his bod I’m done listening You know, Ted’s always kinda freaky He eats hair Human hair He’s the first one to say “Let’s go out and eat hair!” It’s wonderful now and again See? Mmmm, hair, mmmm If there’s one thing our country doesn’t need more of It’s goose diarrhea! I heard you got orange rugs here That’s a lie Hey could you cut me a rug here? A rug? Yeah. An orange one No, we don’t make them I know This one’s a classic Jordan the centipede taught me a card trick Mmm hmm mmmm Thank you You got happy cheer! Ewwww, look! I went down to the summer camp and took a can of gasoline Don’t light the cabins on fire I wish I couldn’t, but it’s too late Ah, well doesn’t that mean you go to jail? No, because I ran away You know what, I just love to twerk holla, holla, holla, holla, holla, holla, holla I’ve been testing out some new campaign slogans that are a little less obvious I need a bogel for the glotch Stop Volution Your face isn’t my face That old man just took your spork If you want boyfriend time, then you must be a girlfriend I hate pervy records Mhhaaah pfrengh! Hmm, i wanna use that I made a hole and then barfed on the beach I made a hole and then barfed on the beach I made a hole and then barfed on the beach This great nation’s like a pork pie Juicy America! Gabe?! Hey, who hates cigarettes? I do! Hooray for you! You know, originally Heidi wanted to marry a different fella She wanted Herbert Spinnecki Yeah, he was into football Herbert was beautiful He was just always very open and sensuous with me, you know? Like on the weekend, he’d bring fruit and lay by the fire with me and tell me I looked like a French model What?! Why’d you even tell them that? Yeah, he’s still a really close friend, the Spinnecki I didn’t know that Mm-hhhm He’s in the kitchen right now Wait, he’s here?! Mm-hhhm Is he Mmm-hhmm What does this mean? Yeah, whatever At least I know she’s mine I don’t wanna ask who the baby daddy I know it’s him. Don’t make us kiss now

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  1. Literally

  2. Hi

  3. make America great again . pffftt please more bogel for the glotch is a slogan America should have really rallied for .

  4. "If you want boyfriend time…you must be a girlfriend."
    You know, that actually does sound like something Ted Cruz would say. Just less as an observation and more as a demand.

  5. This is the 1st time I've seen this and also the 1st time I've seen his wife. I just thought "WOW!!!" She is actually kinda hot. I wouldn't mind hitting that. How did Ted pull that off??? She probably IS sneaking around.

  6. Never stop doing this videos guys so like that i wont ever stop laughing 😂😂😂😂😂 Its been a lot of time since i didnt see so funny stuff in youtube

  7. Everyone needs a bogel for the glotch. He should've made that his entire campaign platform! If Biden gets elected in 2020 nobody's glotch will have the necessary bogels..

  8. Wait, this is the wife that Trump said was ugly back then? Maybe Spanky needs glasses… it could explain all his twitter typos and teleprompter gaffes.

  9. this might be my favorite blr because it's the most spot on voice and… this is possibly.. for sure what ted cruz is saying? their faces are spot on!

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