The Kite Runner Summary by Shmoop

The Kite Runner Summary by Shmoop



we see the Kite Runner a la shmoop hey want to hear a funny story well then you better watch Comedy Central cuz this one won't cut the mustard seriously like get some Kleenex I'll wait my childhood was said in pre Taliban Kabul it was me my dad Baba and our servants Ali and his son Hassan Hassan and his dad were uh sadhus which is not the most popular ethnicity in Afghanistan ooh it's kind of like being the wildebeest at a crocodile party I saw us on a lot but I never thought of him as a buddy for one thing I always got the feeling that Baba liked him better than me then everything changed Hassan and I were out kite fighting which is kind of like fruit ninja but with kites I won which was awesome because that man I got to keep the losers kite ass on ran off to collect my winnings like a good servant and he took a while coming back I followed him and found him in an alleyway with some local bullies getting raped which was totally not a scene you want to walk into so I didn't instead I ran away and pretended I had no idea where Hassan had gone I know I know I'm a chicken but how do you bring a thing like that up in conversation except now this secrets been eating me up inside even worse I had to watch Baba being all mushy with Hassan when he should have been getting mushy with me in a totally grown-up manly sort of way if you know to me I had to do something so I made the obvious choice frame Hassan for stealing and get him kicked out of our house then was just me and Bubba and somewhat smooth sailing to californee well years went by and I put my villainous past behind me I got myself a wife and lost my Baba to cancer then Baba's old friend Rahim Khan asked me to come back home because things in Afghanistan were getting ugly my old pal Hassan and his wife had been murdered by the Taliban which was gunning for Hassan us literally Rahim really laid on the guilt trip showing me cheery letters from Hassan and telling me about Hassan's son Saurabh who was all alone in an orphanage he saved the zinger for the end though Hassan was my half-brother Baba's actual son I was the only one who could help Saurabh it was time for an amiracle uh-huh see what I did there I'm so clever the only problem was so Rob wasn't at the orphanage he was living with an extremely creepy official with a yen for underage boys plot twist alert soft Rob's gross Guardian was the same dude who raped Hassan the sleazebag tried to beat me up I was able to successfully stop most of his punches with my body until Saurabh nailed him with a slingshot and we escaped I wanted to take Saurabh back to the states with me but there's a lot of red tape when your parents mysteriously vanished and you're in and out of social services I told Sol Rob he'd have to go back into an orphanage for a bit and he tried to kill himself yeah little drastic but I guess he can't really blame him my lady and I figured out a way to take him with us but he was giving me the silent treatment huh kids these days I think so Rob and I are starting to connect though we flew a kite together and it was just like the good old days with me and his dad even smiled okay that's as close to a happy ending as you're going to get on this one subscribe to check out more equally fantabulous videos you should see that subscribe button just below this one if you're having trouble locating it we recommend you watch our video how to find the subscribe button what

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22 Comments

  1. I'd tell Shmoop to suck my dick but they'd probably try to make it into a joke. Shmoop, you make students everywhere cringe when they see your MS paint-lookin-ass logo. Go back to 2006 bitch.

  2. Your pronunciation of the words make me cringe. It’s okay because the Arabic ‘Hassan’ hasn’t got a letter in English. ‘Baba’ is ‘baabaa’

  3. Every happy ending gets screwed.
    Amir is born, yay, his mother dies. OOPS.
    Amir wins the kite competition and his dad's affection, yay, then Hassan gets raped and Amir frames him and forces him to leave Kabul. OOPS.
    Amir finds love and gets married, YAY, then his dad dies of cancer and his wife is unable to have children. OOPS
    The war in Afghanistan is over, yay, now the Taliban has taken over the country. OOPS
    Amir sees Rahim Kahn, his father besides Baba, again, yay, he then learns that Baba has lied to him his entire life and that his half brother is dead. OOPS.
    Amir finds the orphanage Sohrab is at, yay, Sohrab is taken by the Taliban and Amir ends up with severe injuries trying to rescue him, leaving him unable to eat solid foods for weeks to months. OOPS.
    Amir finds a way to bring Sohrab to America, yay, Sohrab tries to commit suicide and doesn't speak to Amir for literally almost a whole year. OOPS.
    Amir flies a kite with Sohrab and Sohrab barely smiles. The End.

  4. honestly this was a terrible description of the book, leaves out key- info… and so many plot points… tf

  5. Alright, not only did you leave out so many details, but the few you actually got right are not even entirely correct. Nice going.

  6. This left out so many significant parts on the book, extremely useless and very unimpressed with Shmoop.

  7. its such a shame that you made a good book, and an inspirational story for other kids nothing more than a useless shitty and not even funny, nonsense video.

  8. its not supposed to be funny its supposed to tell the story for younger people to understand it.

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